Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Your penis caused this!
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