I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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