can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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