nut hugger
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
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just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
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I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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