Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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