I think my vagina is haunted
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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