i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize