two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
