Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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