I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
