At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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