On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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