After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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