hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
