I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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