It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
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