I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
