i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize