I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
