just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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