apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize