I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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