Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is Oprah even human
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
