pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
