after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
