If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize