be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
