i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize