I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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