he shaved USA in his pubs
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
