I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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