i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
