I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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