Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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