i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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