You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
