I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All the doctor said was why
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
