thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
there is puke in my bra ... again
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
