Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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