you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
