Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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