So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
