so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
