I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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