Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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