She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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