Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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