I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize