it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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