I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
