This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
