the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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