hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
