i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
