oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
