you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
