Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
