are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
