new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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