I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
