i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
