areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
