so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
