At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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