I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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