glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
