no. you can't hotbox the world.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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