I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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