So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
