i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize